Today I had a productive day. i accomplished alot yet still have things leftover from the day I needed to do and lost track of time before I could do it.
I got up earlier than the alarm this morning. i took my shower, did the floors, ate my oatmeal with banana, and prepared myself for my day to come. My worker came and we went to the bank to get some information I needed along with speaking with the bank manager regarding my savings account closure and a direct deposit I get. After the bank we went to my doctors appointment, where I was able to have my stictches removed and speak with the doctor regarding some neurological issues I experienced last week which was an adverse reaction to some medication. i then got a neurology referal and a blood test to see if one of my immunizations serum is up to level to see if I need the immunization or not. i will here from the doctors office once a nuerology appointment has been setup for me.
I then got home, hade lunch which I prepared ahead of time, and went to the Center for Recovery and wellness, the local peer recovery center close by. there I attended the support group along with spoke with a couple peers and then came home.
once home I called social security to change my direct deposit but it wont go into effect until March 2013 check. But I got it done without being overwhelmed and effectively was able to communicate with people to get my goal accomplished this time. I was prepared before calling and patiently waited my turn for more than 45 minutes on hold while awaiting the agent on the phone. Then I spoke with the director at the agency where my mental health supports come from and talked with her about my concerns and my goals. I spoke with her about whats going on with me and inquired about the meeting I will be having with them all. She reminded me about needing to call the free clinic to speak with the person in charge of the program for getting glasses and an eye exam. Which when I was done with her I tried to call the lady but it was too late in the day and she had already left for the day. So I must call her tomorrow. i also plan on calling and trying to get an appointment with a therapist tomorrow for sometime in the coming few weeks. I plan on going to the NOURISH group at the peer center tomorrow and hopefully working on some sewing.
I ate my supper and talked on the phone with a friend for over an hour. I had homemade blackbean veggie burger pattie browned in olive oil with a diet gingerale. Then I sat down and did some stuff online and played some games. I tried to work on my treatment plan expansion but got discouraged and felt its overly general and unobtainable. I needed to discus this stuff with my worker but she was unavailable so I left a message. Upon my contemplation I become sorry for my complaining and negativity towards my workers hard work placed into setting my goals and for expressing my opinions to her on the voicemail. she did call me back but had not listened to it. Just saw I called and reurned the call. sometimes its as if she does not care about what i have to say or what i think. It is the way it is and thats that. I truly am being more open and vulnerable with her and other treatment providers. but it comes at a cost. there is a price but I also gain inner peace with some of my conformity. I am unsure wether to trust the difference in my own attitude and others attitude towards me. Others have become more open and cating but I find it difficult to trust the changes. I am not sure if its just there because of fear and will fade away along with everything else people in my say. But I am working on things and becoming a better person in my struggles at the moment. I am more aware and less stressed. i am functioning and coping effectively with my life and the hassles life give me. i am embracing them rather than dreading and hiding from them.