email i sent about my distress and self destruction

 

I wish I could make all of you all see that my life is not worth the effort and time people and society waste on me. The amount of money for my shortest least medical risked hospitalization I had this year which was the one at the very end of march I was billed for more than $9,000 by Lynchburg general hospital but then the insurance must have finally paid it because after arguing with them several times I have not heard from then since. From my understanding my overdose in February and in June must have been much more expensive than that and if not even so that alone just in those 3 times that is saying that roughly $30,000 has been wasted of taxpayers’ money. That does not include; my medication I am now prescribed, my mental health support payments to ehs, my psychiatrist payments to ehs, my payments to csb for what they claimed to be treatment such as therapy psychiatry and case management; and I am saying just the monetary value of taxpayers’ money being wasted on a worthless life just in the last 10 months not including the factors of wasted effort, care, understanding, concern, and the distress placed upon people who must work with me. it just puts way too much value into a no-good nothing who will never be productive in society and who these resources should not be wasted on. Resources are hard to come by in life and so why is it being wasted on something such as me? Why must society waste their time and effort on a low life such as I when in fact all this could be used elsewhere on deserving individuals who want something more and want to live. People who someday will be worth the money, effort, care, time, and stress. Why Not just stop wasting time services and money on me.

I am not saying that Jane has not helped me tremendously as over the past few months I have gone through a lot with taking my trip to my families and then the emotions coming from stuff like that. She has supported me through difficulties with my landlords and helped me meet with them and express my concerns regarding my lease terms and difficulties with the new neighbors. She also has put up with my unjustifiable anger towards her and not walked away from me as she should have. Jane has supported me and urged me to continue taking my medication even when I don’t want and when I choose not to she still stands by me no matter what my decision has been. She has helped me many times with my hopeless feelings and helped me see some glimpses of hope. We have shared some peaceful moments in the community and doing community activities. She has linked me to services and helped me with things that has been difficult by encouraging me to do things even when I feel unmotivated especially lately when all I want to do is stay in bed she comes and so I have no choice but to make sure I get up. Well not that if I laid there in bed she could do anything really about it but just the fact of her consistency in my life has helped. With all that is happening my life feels so hopeless and though I continue to want to die recently the past week daily every waking hour and I plan the right moment I will do this when she comes here she helps me see more than these thoughts and feelings. She helps me realize that not always do I feel this way even when I feel it is like this always and though it may seem to me it is more and more it also is more and more where there are moment s that I am able to enjoy things in life such as the outdoors, fishing or walking in the woods while talking, I do have more moments than I used to that I can say where I enjoy life but life is still pointless.

My life is falling apart. I am facing criminal charges for my own stupidity and inability to stay away from unhealthy and destructive relationships even when I recognize that the relationship is causing me too much harm and is eventually going to end. I do try to take steps and use skills I have learned including communication skills and the sorts to express what is going on and how things are effecting me and I do try to walk away from things before it gets to points such as this incidence but with all the anger I had been unable to control recently I lost it as I used to. I thought I had learned to control that and only had learned how to take the blame for everything including everyone else’s behaviors and choices and now I face consequences for my own behaviors and choices. I also am having difficulties with my son and now allowed my mouth to hurt him and he won’t come home. I fear if I force him home he will runaway anyways or he will have my mother or brother go to court and take him from me which will not be hard since I have been in the medical hospital for mental health issues 3 times this year and alls he has o do is tell the judge he no longer wants to live with me and he wants to go back with them and that will be that. Then the difficulties with the landlord and the lease issues have now turned into me having to move and I have been giving a 30 day notice to move. Where will I go? I may be on medication that is helping me not take my life somewhat and Jane seeing me consistently helps keep me stable for the time but what will I do ultimately. It seems when I am trying to do as all you professionals claim I need to do to better my life such as take medication I seem to be very angry outwardly rather than inwardly. I feel more anxiety and as if things in my life just are getting worse and I am sitting here doing nothing but accepting all this shit. Though I want to kill myself and I have these pills here that should do me in I just do not feel like I have much in me right now left. I feel like there really is nothing left of me. I am just a shell full of anger and rage at the world with no energy to get rid of it. I contemplate everyday whether to continue these medications as I feel they are holding me back right at this moment from having the energy I need to complete my long 32 years of misery and make this all end for everyone involved.

My son Corey, will be better in the long run as he will never have to deal with me emotionally hurting him or telling him to go away again. He will be able to keep the freedom he has and get the freedom he desires. My mother will be free from the burden of helping me when I am distressed fearing if she does not offer then I will end up attempting to take my life but won’t succeed and then she feels guilty, my siblings will be free of the extra stress me being alive puts on them by hearing my mother complaining about what happens here with me. Corey may then decide to stop acting like me against authority figures in school as I am not a discouragement towards his antiauthority behavior he has in school nor am I helpful and have the answers his day treatment counselor seeks from me regularly. If I had the answers then I would be doing it and he would not have them for services but then why am I the one who am looked to for the answers and looked at as like the problem as if I am the one who has done something wrong when in fact I did not raise him and he has only been under my care for 2 years and has never been suspended so I must have had been doing something right for him until recently. But that’s all over with now anyways and he will ultimately be better off with me gone from his life. My son Daniel is the one I worry about the most as he is the oldest of the 4 I have no rights to and he’s the one who may never get adopted but is in a foster home with foster parents. He is the one I worry may ultimately be most impacted by my choice to end my suffering when he seeks me out as he turns of age. I worry he will feel I did not love him enough to keep fighting for him back when I chose not to continue the appeals and then I chose to not wait for him and fighting life waiting for him and that is my fear but in the end when he is an adult and comes to understand that I was never going to get anywhere and would always be miserable and worthless and useless even when he sought me out I hope that he will then realize I loved him and wanted better for him when he grew into a man and so I would rather not be here living suffering still when he grew up. The 2 girls are together and though Autumn was old enough to remember I hope Winter will never remember me and will always only have memories of her adoptive family and so I hope that they keep each other safe and are able to help each other throughout life be stronger women than I have ever or would have ever been. My youngest son may have some vague memories of me but I doubt it and just want for him to forget me as he has a mother who will give him more than I ever could. She hates me and I am sure both sets of adoptive families will teach my children that I was useless and that they will hate me anyways. And so though I desire and yearn to be better for them when they grew older it has been over 4 years now and I still am no different. I am going to be homeless soon as I was back when I fought for them. I am facing criminal charges that could land me in jail and I could get jail time. I most definitely am getting a criminal record out of this because I am not a liar and though the other person involved can lie to any and everyone and swear on their mothers grave and the bible though I am not religious I still will not lie nor sear on peoples life’s or graves or urns or whatever even when telling the truth I would rather just be trusted and tell the truth and so I am not going to lie in court as I did not lie to the police or the magistrate when I went there. I told the truth. I admitted to my wrongs. I also told them I would do it again to if I saw what I saw the many times I saw things happen there at that house. And so I have to deal with the consequences from that choice though I also see a correlation between the fact that in the past when I have been medicated by psychiatrists I have had anger problems outwardly too but when not on medication I more have anger problems inwardly and am able to let my anger and frustrations with others go much easier or to not let their behaviors bother me as much. And more recently I have gotten myself into a pattern of not caring about other issues that in the past I would greatly care about and would cause me so much distress when I placed myself into those situations that I would want to die or hurt myself because of the guilt and shame I felt. Now I just go do the shit and don’t care. I don’t care about the mental effects it causes me and I keep them to myself allowing them to race through my mind. I don’t care about the dangers I am placing myself into. I don’t care about the long term consequences the choices could have which are all things that have been issues for me in the past and I have been in this mode in the past though I can say that it has been a medication thing or not but I just more think the distress, shame, and guilt is not there because of the meds which is a positive in a way but also a big negative because I don’t care about any of the consequences and so I just let whatever happen and do whatever just don’t care. My life is crumbling around me and the water is getting deeper but yet my raft I am floating on is dwindling. And so I have decided maybe I don’t need these pills as much as they are helpful they are also harmful and are keeping me suffering here in life. I am not living though. I don’t have a life. I may be breathing, I may have a heartbeat and they may detect some sort of brainwaves in my head though I am not sure anymore. I am only managing with the help of Jane I am doing all these things but I don’t want to manage. If I cannot live then there is no point in breathing, letting my heart beat, or my brain to continue telling the rest of my organs to keep going. So I stopped my meds yesterday. It is just as damaging for me to take them as it is for me not to take them in my opinion. So I don’t care Everything in my life is falling apart and my life is not worth all this money he system pays to medical providers to keep saving. So ask that if I am found when I decide to let go of life for no one to interfere. I ask that you realize what value there is in Jane as she has helped me so much lately when I have been distressed from all that has been happening and she has supported me encouraged me and worked with me to feel better, to motivate, she has taught me how to trust and that people can care about people without hurting them. Jane is helpful and none of it will ever be because she did or said the wrong thing to me. I do know none of you will never understand but I hope that you will realize someday that I was long gone and a lost cause way before any of you were ever involved in my life. I was destined to die young or live in misery till I am old which would you choose. Die young while people can still speak good things about you and possible leave them hopefully leave them with some positive good lasting memories of you or stay living angrily being miserable and causing everyone to hate you and no one to want to remember you or wanting to even show up at your funeral. You know my choice and just think of it from my point.

At this time I am not immediately going to kill myself so do not get any of your bright ideas of having me eco’d or tdo’d because I am just writing to wanting to express how I feel about things and let you know where I stand on life. I want people to realize that I am a waste of time, money, and resources. I want you to see realize and understand that I struggle and though it gets hard and rough at times there have been some better experiences in my life since my worker was changed 14 months ago. So ask does that mean I keep going that it will definitely get better more and more, no I doubt that since in the last 3 weeks everything around me in my life has falling apart though I am managing it. Maybe if I did not have a mental health worker I trusted and who could help me motivate and get out of bed when all I want to do is sleep then maybe I would already be dead. Maybe I would have taken all those pills a week ago. Maybe if I was not taking the medication I was taking until yesterday I would be in worse shape and then maybe the rest of the services would not help me but I doubt the medication has that much power since the meds are meds I have been on previous and in combination before and alls I see they do for me is cause me more anxiety, make me paranoid or the symptom of paranoia from my BPD come out in me more prominently that I recognize it and it is bothersome to me, make me not care about things I was ashamed of previously and felt guilty for when I did place myself in those situations, and helped me feel my pent up anger and outwardly express it more rather than blame myself or let others blame me and me accept the blame but yet they also have helped my thinking to slow down
and my impulsivity to lesson. They have helped me rationally and emotionally think more in combination so I use my wise mind regarding suicide and self harm and drugs use but not other dangerous behaviors that are impulsive, dangerous, emotionally, mentally, and possibly medically harmful to me. So how long do you think they will take to be completely gone from my system and I can get back to being me and feeling the way I should and being who I really am meant to be?

Well I hope this is helpful to you to understand where I am coming from and what happens. I called the other day just because I knew I needed someone to understand me more than just Jane. I mean she understands to a point but not sure she understands just as I am sure the same goes for you. Will anyone ever fully understand. Nope. Do people try to understand sometimes. Sometimes people do not care enough to try. Sometimes they realize I am not worth their time. Maybe you fit into one category but who knows. I may never know just as all the fakes in my life previously have led me to believe they cared and turned and left me and lied claiming they would not. Lied well anyways I am just struggling and sometimes I just need to talk to more than just Jane I guess and so I called and I have learned to work with you. There was a time when I could not trust you and said I would never talk to you ever again. Now when I feel I am struggling and Jane is not available or I need someone else besides her you are the one I run to. Yeah I talk to family about my stressors but from a rational point rather than an emotional or wise mind point. So I will leave you be and hopefully tonight I will sleep as last night I was up and not home until I came home at 4:30 in the morning and then the night before I did not sleep at all and slept about 3 hours Saturday to make it up. My sleep has been messed up and disturbed all week but I guess it won’t matter too much. Well hope you understand better and life never treats you as it has me. I hope you a long and prosperous life and that when things look as despairing as mine does you have someone to call or write to too.

 

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My day and odd fear and panic tonight

 

Today has been an odd day for me. It started out waking up early as it has been normal as of lately which is actually early for me but normal for me lately. Then I went out to the garden and worked on clearing the garden plot of the diseased plants and dumped the potato bucket that I thought was growing no potatoes in it but it had some in it and i ruined the growh process and so the potatos i got are real small. So I decided the potatoes i did get I am going to try to replant and get some bigger potatoes from the small ones. I also am preparing to plant some brocoli seeds, cabbage seeds, greens, squash, and some more green beans for the second crops of the season.

Then I spent some time on the computer and read several very interesting articles today. I alos labeled several pictures I had taken on vacation of my picture timeline of some of my life events. Some of it was hard to look at and go over some of the memories and of course some of the memories I skipped over and did not label nor view the picture. instead I quickly did the ones I could handle and when it became too much for me I suddenly felt overwelmed and tired and went and layed down to rest a while. Then my worker came.

We took a ride to a campground were we plan on going camping on the night of august 11th and sitting in front of the campfire and going out of a boat fishing and hopefully I am able to just let go of the outside life and leave everything else behind and just enjoy things. There has been so much anger within me lately I am sick ofit I just want for it to go away and for my walls to not be so thick and for them to come down a little as they had before. i had let them down before. My worker had earned her trust and worked hard at proving she was trustworthy enough for me to let my walls down but I quickly got scared and built them back up thicker and higher. I wish they were not there somedays as I want to get through the inner pain and experience joy with life. I want to experience inner peace, contentment, and happiness. I want to be okay with me and satisfied with who I am.

Then we came back to my house and chatted a while and as she was getting getting ready to leave I felt as if I had regressed. I did not want her to leave. I did not want her to go home. I wanted to go home with her. I thought she might never come back even though intectually I knew she would be back monday and I would see her then a Fear came over em that I was losing her and that she was leaving. I felt sad. I wanted to go with her for some reason. I asked her if I could go and she said no which I knew she was going to but yet I wanted to go. I did nto want to stay home. I was going to miss her and she was only going home to her house accross town for the weekend. As she pulled out the driveway I felt the tear come out my eye and walk away. I also felt stupid and unsure what was going on with me. I knew I was acting stupid and felt very emotional but yet was unsure why and was not sure why I was so attached at that moment as I had been so very angry with her for the past few weeks. This felt very strange and odd to me. I felt overwelmed by her leaving tonight and saddened. I almost felt as if I was losing her and I am not sure why. I felt a panic and cried when I came in the house. I felt like a stupid little child. I was crying for no reason. Well atleast I hope it was for no reason but I guess time will tell come Monday when I am scheduled to see he.

 

current happenings…

well my son started his shit already tonight and decided he wanted to play my mother and i against eachopther. well whatever if this is what he really wants that is fine. I really do not even want to be here. I want to go home and i have not even been up here for 12 hours yet. I just want to go back to my home and be alone. I want to be by myself and he can stay here where he wants to be. As far as I am concerned he can stay here and never come back.

I have had alot of thoughts through my ride up here with my mother including thinking about her denial of the past way she treated me and how I am going to work on it and be able ot move on from it and wondering if I will ever be able to work through it and get on with my life or will i always be effected by it and never truly be able to live without some tyoe of effect from it and damage caused by the forms of abuse I went through during different periods of my life. The trauma I was subjected to in the past most definately effects my current life and relationships and definitaly effects and causes me anger regarding other people and their treatment of their children. I have alot to face and work on if I ever get up the courage to face and deal with it head on. But I am unsure that will ever happen as there is not really anyone in my life I guess i can trust.

Yesterday and Today

Yesterday I had a good day got a lot accomplished. Mowed my friends yard made $20. Then I had a cook out here at my house and my brother came over with his mother in-law, wife and 3 kids and my friend and her husband joined us. We had chicken, ribs, hot dogs, cheeseburgers, macaroni and potato salad and soda. We had a good time. The I finally went to sleep around 10:30.

Woke up this morning finished my bathroom and almost finished the dishes. Hung the rest of the pictures in the living room. hung the curtains in the kitchen. picked some veggies including cherry tomatoes, cucumber, green beans, and some hot peppers for a friend of mine. I also made her some music cd’s and a dvd she has been wanting to watch. She came over and I chated with her and her friend for about half an hour. I had a drink and got buzzed. We ordered pizza today and i paid my water bill. i pesticided my garden and my workers garden. Then my mom got into town and visited my brother then I conned her into coming over and taking me to get some crab ragoon for my son and then she went to the hotel. All and all I had a great day.

Today was the best day of my week because i spoke with my worker who is on vacation and it was really good to talk with her even though it was only for a few moments but it was the highlight of my week so far. I also spoke with her boss today twice. I was really frustrated and disappointed that Casey Anthony was found not guilty on all counts of murder, child abuse, and manslaughter except 4 counts of misleading law enforcement. I am really angry at many things that were brought out at the trial and that were not brought out while Caylee was missing. I am angry at the fact that Casey Anthony did not care about her child enough to do anything while her daughter was dead except party. I am angry that she is going to end up scott free while her child is dead and was never given a chance at life.

Thoughts this morning

Well here starts the challenge. However, should not be a challenge as I went many times without someone in my life and no one has ever really cared anyway I feel the next few days will e a challenge for me.

At least being alone is difficult and my worker leaving was hard for me as I was angry with her. I tried not to let it interfere but it did. I was not angry with her for leaving but I was angry more at myself for things in my past and angry with others in the system that failed to help me but took it out on her. The one thing that does anger me though is being lied to and though she insists she did not lie to me, I am not sure she told me the truth nor will I ever know if she lied. She claims she deleted so many messages from me which I know is true but those specific messages I had sent the night before and she was the one who tried to prove to me so quickly, defensively, and volunteered the information to me that her phone was dead all night and she did not charge it and so pretended to not have gotten my messages the previous night when in fact she appears to have gotten them an just pretended not to.

I wish she were just honest with me. I wish that if she did not want me texting her or if she did not want to hear about certain shit she just said so rather than pretending it was okay only to leave me feeling the way I feel now or for me to feel she does not read them or does not care about what I say or does not want me texting her at times. Why does she not just say so? Why does she just not tell me the truth and tell me not to text her. I would respect her wishes. I wish she realized that I care enough about her to care what she asks me and to try to respect her and what she wants to the best of my abilities as much as possible. Some things are hard for me when I am in an emotional state such as yesterday when I did not want to allow my anger to interfere in our time together before she left for vacation but the emotions got the best of me and interfered more than I wanted them to. I wished they had not. I wished they had stayed in control, as I had wanted them to.

Separations trigger a lot in me and I just have difficulties handling it along with everything else that was also going on within my mind. I wish I were more able to manage my emotions and control when things interfere in my life. I wish I was more in control of my emotional mind and more in my wise mind at all times. I wish my life were happier and more stable. I wish I did not need the security from others and reassurance from others they care to feel life matters. I wish life mattered to me more than to others but it really does not at this point in time. I wish someday I would find what happiness other people have found in their lives that they did not always have but have been able to find and achieve through hard work and perseverance. Someday maybe I will get there.

The anger I feel

This week has been a very different week for me though yesterday and today has been rough it has not been easy it has been okay. Today has been difficult but I have almost made it through and the day is almost done. I am going to write this and then lay down as I have an early morning with a friend of mine needing some help and picking me p at 7 am to go help her start packing up her house.

I did do some writing this week but did not post them to my blog yet as some of it is sensitive material and some f it just may not be appropriate for the public’s eyes though I may just post them just for some feed back as tonight has been difficult for me as I have obsessed over yesterdays incidents and it boiled over into today and ended up contributing to an already difficult time for me. Instead of managing it as I planned I allowed my emotions to get in the way and was unable able to stay in control of myself and let myself not stay silent as I had said to myself I was going to do last night. I was hoping I was going to handle saying goodbye to my mental health worker as she left for vacation but instead my anger, which really has nothing to do with, or relationship got in the way. A big part of it s the fact that goodbyes are not good for me and separations are not good for me as it is hard for me to trust people will come back as so many people have left me behind and so many people have lied to me in the past. So many people have betrayed me. However, I allow things with other people to interfere in my treatment and I allow her reaction and treatment methods of other clients to effect my emotions and trust in her. I wrote about some of it last night. I may just move that post to another of my blogs as to not interfere with this one.

I was always involved in a system that failed me as a child. Now I sit and watch as the system failed to help me keep my family together. Yes, I had my faults. Yes, I got angry and frustrated at things my children did and how they behaved. I reacted at times in ways I wish I could have changed. I stayed in a relationship with my children’s father in which both of us should not have stayed together. We both were abusive towards each other, held resentments, had anger issues, and had no control over our emotions and reacted in abusive manners toward each other. Our abusiveness towards each other was harmful to our children, emotion and mentally. We were both neglectful in caring for the children’s psychological, mental, and emotional needs as we abused each other mentally, emotionally, and physically in their presence. My house was never clean and my children knew how to manipulate me to get their way most of the time. But I was a work in progress and I was always able to say I needed help, I could not do it by myself, I recognized the need for change in their lives even if things did not immediately change for the good I was always trying new things and making an effort to address what was happening in my home, I was honest with people, I never encouraged my kids to lie, I never told my kids they were liars, I never abused my kids or called them names or criticized them, and when my husband laid his hands on my children the 3 times I remember we got into severe physical altercations where I made a point to let him know I disapproved of my children being abused or disciplined physically in nature. I may not have taught my children the best ways of dealing with altercations as violence is never the best way to deal with anger and you should never tell a child not to hit and then hit but as I said earlier I had my faults and so I do understand some things to a degree.

I was raised in a system. My life consisted of being failed by the system and then the system failed to help me when I needed help in raising my own child and so the cycle continued with my children. Nevertheless, there are people who claim to want their children and then act as if they could care less about them. People anger me in the system who are there to help people change their lives and who should be protecting the children whether they are the child’s worker or the parents worker and instead they minimize the parent responsibilities and act as if it is the child’s fault what is going on. I feel as if I am reliving some of what I experienced in my own life and it is 27 years later when things have supposedly changed for the better in this world. People are supposedly better at recognizing the signs and effects abuse and neglect has on children and their responsibilities to the children in the world not just to the parents. It is not just a parents responsibility to raise a child nowadays it is the publics responsibility to protect that child if they witness that child’s abuse, neglect, or need for help.

Therefore, I have allowed myself to be hindered by some recent incidents that occurred and the anger seems to be over taken me. However, not just because of the events that occurred and in this moment I am sitting here able to recognize why I am so angered by what occurred. I am angered more about the fact that though I had many people in my life that could have helped me and should have seen what was happening and been able to protect me they did not. They could not read my mind. They could not help me because I stayed silent. I allowed the secrets to stay a secret and no one saw any of the signs or recognized my pain. No one helped me when I needed help as a child, as a teenager, as a wife, as a young mother, as a struggling, angry hurt distressed parent afraid to lose the only thing that mattered in my life. No one helped me. No protected me from losing my world, my life. They are gone. My life has been stolen. My life was stolen. I suffer a lot. Suffer many days. I do not suffer everyday as I did in the past but there are many days I suffer in silence. I still have many secrets that no one has ever cared enough to help me through. I still hold my secrets that I have held for many years and maybe I will die with them inside me. Maybe they will stay buried deep within or maybe someday there will be someone in my life with who I am able to work through this all and someday I will no longer get so angry over such issues, maybe I will not get so obsessed and feel so hurt when people do not care. Maybe I will care enough about myself and my life to make something of myself.

Topic 1: Recognizing Child Abuse and Neglect—Definitions and Indicators

Topic 1: Recognizing Child Abuse and Neglect—Definitions and Indicators

Emotional Maltreatment
Suspecting emotional maltreatment is challenging. The child will show no bruises or welts and may be appropriately fed and clothed. Yet some consider the damage caused by emotional maltreatment to exceed that of other forms of abuse and neglect. Adding to the challenge is that the child may not be able to disclose the maltreatment, as he or she may think that emotional maltreatment is part of normal parenting.

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Legal Definition
Emotional maltreatment is called “Mental Abuse” in Virginia Code. Emotional maltreatment includes patterns of the following behaviors:

•Ridicule
•Rejection
•Intimidation
•Ignoring a child
•Indifference
•Bizarre discipline
Operational Definition
Emotional maltreatment is perhaps the most difficult form of abuse to define, yet its consequences can be devastating. In addition, it is likely that some element of emotional maltreatment is involved in other forms of abuse and neglect.

Caregiver actions that may be considered emotionally abusive include patterns of:

•Belittling
•Ridiculing
•Intimidating
•Ignoring or rejecting
•Withholding love
•Seeming unconcerned about a child’s problems
•Holding impossible expectations without regard to developmental capability
•Bizarre discipline
It can be very hard to tell the difference between less-than-optimal parenting and emotional maltreatment. Remember, like neglect, emotional maltreatment hinges on the consequences to the child. If the child has persistent, adverse reactions to caregiver behaviors like the ones mentioned above, emotional maltreatment may be suspected.

Physical Indicators
Emotionally maltreated children often show:

•Non-organic failure to thrive (infants)
•Speech disorders
•Developmental delays
Behavioral Indicators
The range of possible behavioral indicators of emotional maltreatment include:

•Habit disorders (sucking, biting, rocking)
•Conduct disorders (antisocial, destructive)
•Neurotic traits (sleep disorders, inhibition of play)
•Behavioral extremes (compliant, passive, undemanding, aggressive, demanding, raging)
•Overly adaptive behavior (inappropriately adult, inappropriately infantile and needy)
•Self-destructive behavior and suicide attempts
•Cruelty; seemingly taking pleasure in hurting other people or animals
•Delinquent behavior
Emotional Indicators
The developmental delays that are apt to accompany emotional maltreatment include delays in emotional development and can have a significant effect on a child’s ability to age-appropriately handle his or her emotions and social interactions. For example, emotional abuse can be seen as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If a child is degraded enough, the child will begin to live up to the image communicated by the emotionally abusive parent or caretaker. This will affect the child’s relationships with others and his or her sense of self-worth.

Cognitive/Academic Indicators
The developmental delays that are apt to accompany emotional maltreatment include delays in cognitive development and can have a significant effect on a child’s academic performance.

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http://www.vcu.edu/vissta/training/va_teachers/topic1_4.html