The Day is Coming To a Close

As my day winds down and the night came I feel focused. I have clarity in my mind and my thoughts. I had a productive day even though I hardly got anything done I had planned and wanted to. I still managed to have a nice relaxing productive day in my eyes.
I did some writing. I played some games both on the computer and on my android phone. I managed to cope with some difficult people and a distressing finding. Now to actually try to fix the issue with my check tomorrow will be the harsd part. I need to change my direct deposit over from a previously opened savings account to a checking account I have since the bank closed my savings account. It is distressing because my check is due to be direct deposited into that account come Friday the 1st of February and now I know it is going to be messed up and I will struggle until this issue is fixed including I may get my internet shut off as my supplemental check will only cover my rent and leaves $47 left. My internet is $83. It is worrisome but I am managing it and have been able not to obsess over it repeatedly today.
I have thought alot today about relationships and how we never kbow how long we have or others have to live and that we need to let people know we care as much as we can and whenever we have the chance to show them as we never know when we will no longer have them or they will no longer have us. I am working on forgiveness but I need to write a letter to my mother. I dont like things left unsaid as they are and have been. I also need to write to my children and my son. My youngest 2 childrens birthdayys are this coming month and one will be 8 and the other nine. Boy oh how time flies.
I want to go back to school and have wanted to for a while. i am working on ways to be able to do that. I am working on making a plan to pay off the college what I owe them and paying for my classes for one semester so I can get my financial aid back and follow through on my goals in my life.
I have to call and check on a new psychiatrist in the morning. I also have to call a therapist back that I may be able to start seeing. It has been 21 almost 22 months since I ended therapy with my previous therapist and my attempts to see another one since then have beeninterefered with by insurance and my personal beliefs conflicting with the therapists beliefs. This therapist is a male and I am scared but he has been highly recommened to me and I have been urged to see him for around 18 months now by several people including another of his clients. I just fear the fact he is a male. I do not trust well and especially males in the world. I have been hurt by many people and most of them were male. So I am taking a big step in my life and going to see how it goes.
I am going to get to bed on time tonight even though I have not got anything accomplished I needed to or would have liked. I may not have accomplished what I was supposed to today but I feel accomplished today because I am at peace with myself. i have an appointment with my medical doctor in the mid morning tomorrow and plan on going to a oeer support group in the afternoon tomorrow.


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