difficulties in my life

 

Parenting teenagers are difficult and is even more difficult when everyone in the family is acting as if the are the teenagers parent and are against the parent. I do understand that for my specific case these people played a parental role for my son and especially his nana but now she needs to step back and be a support to my parenting instead of trying to be a parent and be against everything I do as a parent. She made decisions and choices with us as teens according to what she decided was what we needed which included me being placed in residential which eventually led to me being their long term as my behavior escalated rather than improved so sometimes the choices parents think is best is not always what is best for teenagers even when the professionals believe and urge the parents that the child needs that. Then she chose other choices for my brother that is just 18 months younger than me and his behaviors ended him on a different path than mine but yet in jails and on drugs. She then also chose to send my sister to live with my father and though it may not have been the best decision my sister has some issues but does very well with life in my opinion and does not have the issues my brother and I have had. Not that I believe it is because of my mothers choice to send her away to my father or because of my fathers way of raising her because his parenting style is not healthy either in my opion but as my parents grew older and had more kids to practice on their choices and behaviors changed and so the younger children did not experience what me and my brother experienced at our first 5-6 years before being placed in foster care and then when they were also taken at that time and they were much younger they were also returned home to my mother much sooner than we were because of their age and need and less need for services from the damage that had already been done to us in our infancy and toddler years. then there is my brother who is between the brother and sister who is different from us all and though she made a different choice with him and allowed him to stay on his own at 16 when she moved away he was already mature enough as a young adult working going to college and finishing highschool when she moved halfway across the country with my son who she was then raising that I had as a teenager. Now it took me 15 years to get my sons custody back and though he lived with me for 14 months before I got custody and his grades had improved and my brother had him for just over a year and had let his schooling go down hill though his schooling has always been difficult for my mother but she fought for so long just to get him an iep only for my brother not even to consult her nor I before signing off on it and allowing the school to say he no longer needed it so they could kick him out for not complying and doing his school work because of his emotional mental health issues which is why he had an iep in the first place. then my brother had not been providing my son with the services he needed and so he came to live with me and I have done well with him until recently when they are all interfering and trying to parent him and throwing their own 2 cents in where they don’t belong. they made their own mistakes in life and need to step back and support my parenting rather than being devious and working against trying to make it that my son knows how to make sure if i file in court for a court order for him not to be at my brothers since he is technically supposed to be here with me they run their mouths but yet cannot care for their own kids and people support my son being there knowing his uncle’s wife has previously degraded him and his grades have fallen and I am supposed to continue sitting back letting him fall because the choices my mother made when I was a teen was best for me and that is why I am where I am today. because she was blinded while her boyfriend had sex with me in her bed or in mine while she worked at night and when I told her she makes a statement to me that if I had sex with him there would be things only someone who had sex would know and when I tell her that he is uncircumcised she says to me anyone could know that. well how about when he starts cumming he says “oh my god jesus christ” is that enough for you. to this day she still refuses to discus it and still is in denial regarding my anger towards her about this issue because even after knowing this she still spoke with him and had him do favors for her but claims she cared about me. well did she ever care. does she really care about me now. does not seem it to me because it seems to me one minute she acts as if she wants to help me and is here to support me but yet then is backstabbing me with her son working against me for my son when all I have done is do more for my son than her son has done and in the 4-5 weeks my son has been at my brother’s house his grades have gone back to where they were before coming to live with me when he was living with my brother 26 months ago. yes I told him to go live there if he was not going to help me but parents and teenagers have struggles and to have her and my brother putting shit in my son’s head since this started then to have her giving my brother money to support my son staying there so he does not have to come home or switch schools which is a violation of laws just to cater to my son which does not teach my son consequences of his choices but enables him is hindering my parenting and interfering in my parenting and not supporting my parenting. she had her chance to parent us and she did what she did and made the choices she made now she needs to step back and stop interfering because all they both her and her son are doing is causing problems and what is going to happen is more problems because what will happen is he will end up in the state and none of them will have them because I will prove them unfit by what they are doing and then I will lose him also because of previously losing the rest of my kids and then none of us will have him and he will be lost in the system and if he continues on the road he is on now he is going to end up in jail or somewhere else because the way he is going rifling through desks lying manipulating and stealing thinking he is above rules he his not going to survive. so these people need to back off and either start supporting me and my parenting or walk away from it because they will all not be around. or i will turn around and get a restraining order on them all just as she did to me and keep them away from my son since they are damaging my child and interfering in my parenting and a threat

 

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2 thoughts on “difficulties in my life

  1. What is his counselor doing about this, why isn’t she helping you to get him back??? She should be able to see what you are simply stating, your mother is still a failure & your brother isn’t any better, you have done well, it’s documented. She needs to help you to get him home with you, to go to court with you to do the restraining order if that’s needed. You sound angry, that’s good, anger can help to get things accomplished. Keep up your fight. (((HUGS)))

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  2. He does not want to come home and instead wants to live with my brother but i have custody and he is manipulating and they are all manipulating and i am trapped he cancelled his therapy services about 6 months ago and his psychiatrist he sees prescribed him meds only because he lied and said he would try to take them and once we left he said he was not taking them then he has a day treatment worker at school who tells me he is manipulating and for me to just make him stay home and yet my brother picks him up because he tells my brother if he does not get him he is leaving and sleeping outside so now they have moved all his clothes and possesions out of my house and when i threaten to get the courts involved as his assistant principal has suggested and told me to report him as a runaway my brother and mother tell me to think about doing that cause my son will turn around and tell the court about my overdosing earlier in the year over 3 months ago when he was not home and i did not endanger him but they feed the information in his mind on what he can say if i do anything with the courts but yet then tell me they want me to keep my custody of him because i worked hard to get it back and did a good job and that they are not trying to take him from me and none of them want him but they are not going to let him be in the streets but if they stopped enabling him and undermining me and interfering since my brother does not even parent his own children properly though they are still young but always getting hurt because they are not supervised by his wife properly while he is working and my mother did not make the best of choices ofr us in our lives though her choices did improve as she went through more and more kids including as she raised my son but both my son and i were raised by the same person most of our lives and we both have very similar issues with stubborness authority fiigures and just we are so much alike even though i did not raise him and it goes to show that it is not because of me it is because the same person raised us both and probably genetics partially too. i will say in his younger years until i got out of residential when he was 4 there was some physical abuse but when i got more involved and saw what was going on and call social services on she seemed to cease that but she denies that stuff she denies dragging him out of bed by his tail and putting him in the showing when he refused when he was in kidnargarten at age 5 and her and i getting into a fight over it and her getting a restraing order on me because i told my grandmother if i had to i would take him from her and my grandmother thought i meant kidnap him. and so i did not see him for 6 months. but yet now they blame me for what is going on with him when i have had him for the past 26 months and his grades had improved and he had not been suspended yes him and i got into an argument and he left and went to my brothers and the next day i went there trying to get him to come home and he would not and this has been going on since then but since then he has now gotten suspended and had 2 detentions which in 26 months he had 2 detentions the month before he came to live with me he had 3 suspensions. his grades have all fallen this past month not that he was doing great but he had been doing better inschool since i had him and though he was failing 2 classes he had 2 A’s and 2 B’s now he has 3 F’s 2 c’s and a B so in a month it is going down and they are blaming me but yet he is not even with me because they are manipulating me and i am the one with custody and if i go to the courts his day treatment staff and my mental health worker has stated they will be behind me and back me up because i have done what i need to do for him and am being manipulated but i also have lost my 4 youngest kids to the state and have no rights to them because of mental illness instability back in 2007 and so my family dangles this in my head knowing i fear the courts and the fact that the system works against mental illness. i am fucked anyway i look at it so what do i do give up and give him the messgae i dont care and let him hate me the rest of his life or do something that will anger him right now and maybe ruin my relationship with him and my family forever or possible that he may see someday down the line that i really did care and thats why i did it or just sit back do nothing let them all manipulate me because of the fear and he may hold it against me and always beleive i did not care enough to fight for him and love him enough to do what was really best for him and what is really best for him right now. or do i let him go and hope someday he realizes i love him and just hope he is okay and just walkaway from this toxic family as i have already walked away from my father who was tosic for me and pretty much no longer talk to my other brother who only bothers with me when he needs something from em and does not give two shits about anyone but himself and so i have stopped trying to help him and when he calls i asks him what he called for and right away tell him i am not doing anything for him so do not ask and so now he has stopped calling altogether like i do notexist anyone coming from a brother that him and i was inseparable at one point until he got into drugs and criminalized himself and learned to manipulated and lied and decieved me one too many times or should i say probably 100 too many times. i dont know what else to do with this matter and am angry frustrated and hurt.

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