whats happenign in my msierable life

 

So got my first speeding ticket today and I am really angry at myself and frustrated as I know I cannot afford it. I also got a ticket for not wearing a seatbelt. I also do not like the fact that my mother nand step father think its funny. It is for $207 total. $137 for the speeding and $70 for the not wearing the seatbelt. At the I had turned on the wrong street was looking at the map following the flow of traffic and had out-of-state plates and was just on an obsessive mission to find sand dollars since I did not find any shells or sand dollars at the beach the day before in Salisbury ma. So I drove to maine instead to try to find some and got the ticket in york, maine. I am so angry . i cried for so long. I just want my life to end. It seems every time I feel emotionally better something like this happens to bring me down. I should have never come up here with my family as I have just wanted to go home since I got up here well actually since I left Virginia. I do not think I will ever come back here as I am always miserable it is so unstabling for me. I cannot wait until I go home monday. But I know I will be lonely and it will be rough for me to restabilize myself. my mental health worker is back from vacation but I am not even sure I really want to see her anymore as a worker. I miss her and she is very nice and she cares and I care about her. but we also have very much differences of opinions and somethings anger me and not sure I will veer get past them and be able to set that anger aside. I am not sure of much anymore. I do not think I need anyone anymore.I am not sure I want to keep going anymore. I cannot do this.

 

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