whats happening

 

it is so angering to see how much my siblings use my mother with their children and my mother allowing it and doing for them and their kids. it is frustrating and hurts to see that she jumps and gets them whatever they want whenever they want something and whatever my siblings wants her to get them or claims they want when I need something for mine she made me pay her back. my kids meant nothing to her just as did and still do. my sister wants something she gets it I want something owell I have to struggle to get it and end up trying to kill myself for anyone to recognize my need for help and my struggle with life and how overwhelmed I am trying to provide for my son and give him what he needs, deserves, and wants and what i want him to have. as opposed to my siblings who play the systems and get incomes from all over the places and food stamps and so on and so forth and their kids have all kinds of things and they do not yearn struggle or need anything but yet they just live beyond and want high lifestyles and give their kids everything and want my mother to provide it all and seems as i see it she does atleast from what I saw today. she also gives my sister her way so my sister does not get mad at her and keep my nieces from her well if that is what my sister is going to dangle in her face when she does not get what she wants and does not get her way from her like a 2-year-old my mother should say fuck it and not give her her way for a while but instead feeds into the 2-year-old manipulative behavior and gives her what she wants because she does not like my sister keeping the girls from her that is bullshit so my sister pretty much runs my mother. I am angry because my mother is allowing this but yet never cared about my kids to any extent. I am very hurt. I do not even want to be here. I want to go home now. I do not want to stay here till next monday but I have no choice I have to because my bus ticket to go home does not leave till next monday afternoon so I will not get home till Tuesday morning so I am stuck here till then but cannot wait till I get home.

 

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