I recently had an issue with a “friend” who in my opinion neglects and at times abuses her child that lives with her but also has a teenage child who does not live with her and has een with-holding secrets from the guardian inorder to gain her daughters trust and friendship. She does not like that her 14 year old daughter views her as unfun and instead wants to be the fun one. And so she with held information regarding her daughter and several different things occuring in her daughters life recently. Her daughter self injures and claims o have been doing it since she was 12. Her daughter also is having sexual intercourse regularly. Her daughter at one point was smoking marijuana and has been drunk. my friend on her 35th Birthday a couple weeks ago gave bother her children alcohol. She did not give her 5 year old much just had him taste it and he did not like it at all but her daughter liked it and she was sneaking the alcohol to her behind her sisters back because her sister had already told her not to give it to her daughter because she was left in charge of her and she did not want to get into trouble if her daughter got drunk or bragged about it. Well a few days later my friends daughters boyfriend called her in a panic saying her daughter had tried to strangle herself. She preceded to refuse to call the guardian and the one responsible for her daughter and called her daughter only for her daughter to say that nothing had happened and that the boyfriend was lying. The daughter claimed that she had only said she was goign to walmart and that she had did nor said anything to her boyfriend about hurting herself. My friend and I got into a conflict over this as she refused to call the guardian claiming she did not want to bother the person at work and everything was fine and nothing would happen. I then had to make a decision based on my own heart and feelings since my friends lack of good judgement with her children has shown me she does not always make good judgements regarding what is best for her children hence the reason she has not raised her daughter and contact the guardian by messaging them on facebook. Which intern pissed the daughter off and disappointed my friend. Well my friend and the daughter then made plans and tried to intercept the message by her daughter deleting it from the guardians inbox on facebook and hoping the guardian would not receive the message and then would never know. Well several days later the guardian got the message in their email and called my friend upset wanting to know why she did not tell them what had happened and she told the guardian that she did not want to bother them. the guardian hung up and was upset with her until today when she called them crying and said she did not like them being angry with her. Which I feel the anger is justified and I am angry with everyone involved in this situations as they are all manipulating and not really taking any action towards helping this hurting teen who is just trying to keep hold of her secrets and find ways to cope with her pain.
I also am frustrated with the fact that if I ever did anything such as any of what occurs in her home regualrly or allowed anyone else to do these things to my child or children such as this friend does social services would be called in a heart beat. But yet people turn a blind eye to what is occuring and also minimize it and have a view that no one else has a right or a say in how a mother raises her child and continues to let neglect and abuse occur in this 5 year olds life. He also has services that my “friend” works the system and does what she has to get them out of her life inorder to keep the secrets rolling from her generation to the next. And so a child will suffer through this probably someday will end up in jails or with some severe issues because of what happens now in his life. This is very angering to me. it is even more angering to me that my friend minimizes and denies anything and everything as being harmful to the child. She makes changes and pretends to be someone that she is not around the workers in her life and allows potential predators and alows abusers in her home and continues the patterns of abuse that caused her psychological and mental damage on her children. It is very angering that the workers in her life do not see a need to do anyhting about her behaviors or irrational beliefs but yet continues to allow what occurs to go on in this childs life.
I lost my children for far less than what is occuring in her home and maybe that is why I am so angry about this all but the only person who is suffering through this all is the child. As this “friend” is critical of others and things they do to their children claiming she would never do something like that to her child but yet her child regularly endures her selfishness, criticism, mental and emotional neglect, at times physical outbursts, and criticism from bother her and her boyfriend and is around her and him when she is high. But yet she sees nothing wrong with any of her behaviors and if she sees something wrong she only minimizes it and blaims the problems of the child on needing medication when the child is fine but yet now within a 6 week period she has him on 2 medications and claims it works but yet then complains it does not work when the chidl does something she does not like or when the child interferes in soemthing she wants to do such as sit in front of television all day ignoring him.
If I did any of this social services would be at my door in a heart beat but yet she has people in ehr life who allows her to keep living the way she is living and does nothing except point it out to her that it may be not good for her child but yet if she cannot see or does not want to do anything about it being not good for her child then the people let it be an dturn a blind eye to it. I am angry at this aspect of the person. I am also frustrated at the fact that no one was there for me and no one tried to help me when I was battling for my children. No one was there to make it that I could get mine back and nothing I ever did to neglect my child is comparable to what this “mother” does. I am angry that the system sent me home to abuse and neglect but yet kept my children for neglect and my inability to stabilize mentally after they stole my children under false pretenses. I am angry that my honesty got me into trouble and made me lose my children but yet this parent has not filter at times nad so people believe whatever she says only for me to know that half of what she says is cover ups, manipulations, and lies. I am bothered that her lies are what continues to allow her to keep her child and neglect and abuse him but yet my honesty is what made it impossible for me to get my children back and made it possible for them to steal my children. I am angry wit the system we have as it does not help the parents who just need help but instead harms those families but yet the families who are beyond help it covers for and allows the cycle of abuse to continue.