What a night last night… what a change from the past!

Well last night was the best night I have ever had. I did not feel guilty or ashamed of what we did nor did I feel as if i had to do it. I just let it all go and it was great. I had had a really bad day emotionally and then released all the stress. That was a change as usually I feel as if I have to and as if it is a chore or I owe it to someone or have no choice. Yes I got drunk, but I felt great. I had a really nice night after a lng drawn out stress inducing day that I got angry and said things I did not mean nor should have said. All and all it was a great ending to a very shitty day full of distress and anger. Never have I thought I would enjoy sex or would feel as if it was something good for me. But this time I felt it relieved so much inside of me and that it helped me feel better both mentally and physically. What a relief it was for things not to be just about him and to feel as if I mattered and was more than just his sexual being. Yes we enjoyed ourselves dangerously. We had it in the cooling of the night under the stars, on the roof of the garage down the farm, indoors, and at my house. It was quite a change from how it has been in the past. It was dangerous but enjoyable. It was the greatest I have ever had and I never believed I could enjoy sex in my lifetime. But I really enjyed it.


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