Environmental Change is often My Way of Escaping Pain

 

i do not own this picture nor the thought behind the words….

I understand this feeling though I have taken the evironmental change as an escape and ended up in a worse place than I was before running from the life I had. I have also done the change everything on the outside and still did not feel anything different inside. I have done this my whole life since I was raised by my mother who tried to change the environment we lived in but never changed herself and alls we ever did was move so i learned that way of life though we always ended up back where we were orignally from. Now I am 12 hours away and when I moved here things got worse and although they have settled somewhat I still feel just as miserable inside. just the past few days I have thought about moving away escaping this place and trying to start over again only to realize I cannot because I am forever stuck here. But if i one day decide it is ok for me to leave I am going to make sure that it is not under an emotional circumstance and a desire to run, avoid, escape, or to start over because I go wherever I move and if i have not changed the inside of me then there is no sense in trying to change everything around me.

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