>I guess the biggest thing in life I hope for is happiness. Not just surface happiness but internal happiness. I want to not feel this inner doom I so feel deep inside.
When I was a teenager there were many things I enjoyed doing and that I thought I was good at even if I really was not good at it I liked doing them. Now I try to do them things and cannot do them. I used to be able to write poetry and express the pain I feel with words on paper now the words cannot come out the pain is wordless. I use to draw and it helped me get through some difficult moments and cope now I cannot do that either. I used to like to bake and craft now I try to do those things and i feel nothing except misery from them same activities I once flt some sort of joy from.
I want to regain some joy in my life. My hope is to gain inner happiness in life. I never realized I had happiness in my life until I completely have had none for the past few years and now I am hoping to regain some. Although I would truly like to have a completely full fillin happy life I am unsure that that is possible so my hope is to just regain some truly real inner joy and happiness as I once felt in the past that I though I did not have then.
You never realize you have something until you lose it. Then yoou want it back and feel hopeless.