Denial and Parenting

>Growing up my father parenting us when he felt like he wanted us involved in his world. When he did parent us he was always high as he was a pothead and I guess in his mind he could be a good parent while under the influence of drugs. His denial surrounding around the fact that weed did not effect his parenting and he beilieved that parentig us under the influence was not harmful to us I guess. The denial is a belief that is irrational and its effects on me have been angering enough that it hasmade me not want to talk with him or associate myself with him as I have become an adult.

Critizing me as a child and teenager, my mother lives in denial regarding the effects I have from her “abuse”. Nevermind the physically abuse she perpetrated on me when I was a teenager. I am speciafically more effected by her denial of emotional, mental, and psychological abuse. Her name calling, critisizing, controlling behavior, putdowns, and outwardness regarding my looks were very harmful to me. The more I think about this abuse the more I am bothered because I was not who she wanted me to be, I did not dress the way she wanted me she critisized me and abused me. She allowed others including my siblings to make comments regarding the way I dressed also. She also joined in when others were putting me down. This really hurts. It hurts me even more than it did back then because of her denial regarding the effect this abusiveness had upon me. It was never right for her to abuse me nor allow anyone else including my siblings to do so either.

As I had my own children and family I tried my hardest to make them feel loved psychologically, mentally, and emotionally but lived under a sheet of denial to a degree and i still somewhat live under that sheet of denial regarding my childrens emotional, mental, and psychological difficulties being because of my neglect of them. I believed that my constantly telling them I loved them, they were pretty and handsome, that they were speical made up for the neglect they were experiencing in my home by winessing domestic violence which included emoitonal, mental, and psychological abuse by both my husband and I towards eachother. I denied that our abuse of eachother caused any of the childrens issues. For my children to hear and see the manipulation, control, and verbal abuse they saw and me to believe that my childrens issues were not because of what they were experiencing in my home was absured and a big form of my denial and taking responsibilty for my childrens psychological abuse they endured. I sometimes still minimize there experience to a degree but also know the truth of the matter was I neglected my children and caused them psychological difficulties they battle and may always have to battle because of the effects of theior experiences in my home and my DENIAL.

Children are greatly impacted by parents denial. Denial hurts children and causes them more harm than it does the adults or so called parents. In a way to be in denial is neglectful to the children we are parenting and causes tehm harm.

To even be in denial regarding our own mental health issues or a childs mental health issues is neglectful and very harmful to a child. For so long I lived a denial to a degree regarding my psychological difficulties effecting my childrens psych but I now realize that my denial of my own mental health issues and the extent that my actions effected my childrens mental health was neglectful towards my children and hurt tehm greatly. When I was psychologically unstable I was not a good parent and anyone who believes their psychologicla difficulties do not impact a childs life is in DENIAL.

Being a parent in denial can greatly impact children for the rest of their lives and I am sorry i caused my children possibly to have life long difficulties because of my need to avoid the TRUTH.

I thought I loved my children but did not know how to love them. I thought I showed them what I believed love was but me being neglectful and and in denial was not loving them the way they deserved!


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