First of all, i wish I can make you understand how much you really mean to me. I do Love You and always have. Yoe went off on me the other day about things that happened to you in your life. Teresa everytime I have tried to reach out to you, you have done something to avoid it. You tell me alls you want is an apology for what happened to you. Teresa, I dont know what you want. I did not cause them to hurt you. I was working, trying to do all i could to take care of the bills and have a place to live for all of you. If this is why I am guilty then I apologize. But, I did not ever hurt you the way you were hurt. Teresa, I have done things and live with that and I always will, but you need to know that I really truly love you and I care about what is happening to you. Your babies are important to me and I come here to be with you through this. You talk about the unfairness with Corey and the kids visiting eachother and I agree 100% with you but, you seem to be missing the importance of what Corey feels about you. Teresa, I read your journals and I cant understand what would make you believe that ending your life would help anyone. Corey has been through enough with losing his brothers and sisters, not having a dad and not having the time he needs with you. what do you think he would feel if something happens to you too. He doesnt deserve and of the things that has happened to him and does need to be part of your life. I believe you need him as well. Everyone in your life has done some awful things to you too. Teresa, you can not change the hurt that has happened, the past is the past. You have to deal with that and move .. hurting yourself. You are someone special. You say Autumn is a survivor, well you are too, just like me. I dealt with similar feelings, hurts, and failures. Teresa, but I did move on, Made more mistakes, but knew that I am a human being who makes mistakes, we all do and you know what? Its okay! I know you are going to be upset that I did read everyword you wrote, but you need to know, that I cried with those words, I did feel all the pain you were feeling when you wrote what you wrote. Teresa, you are very hurt and I wish I could take it all away from you. If I could take backsome of the hurt that I caused I would. But I cant. I cant change the past. I cant change anything. I can only be there for you if you need me. I cant take away what you have done either. but, you can. You can Teresa, because you are a very special woman. You cant hide that. You can set these goals and reach them. And if it takes forever, then thats okay too. You know as well as I know that you need people to help you. Take all the help you need. Its okay. Its okay to cry, its okay to hurt, its okay to love, and its okay to laugh. Its okay to make those mistakes. But, it is also okay to learn from them too. I feel you can do it, and I will always be here if you need me. A hug, a tear, I am also a good listener if you let me in. I really dont want anything else, but what is best for you. Not losing my daughter to the pain she feels, not losing my daughter to a never ending tormented life that she feels she lives in. Take the help that is there for you. It doesnt matter if you need to be somewhere to be safe it doesnt matter, you know why? Because we do love you. Corey loves you, I love you, believe it or not, Destiny loves you, and james. Gene is all upset and cares very much about you. He feels he caused some of this and cried to me about losin you. You know if you dont want to believe any of what I say, believe me when I tell you how much your son does care and loves you and if anything he needs you Teresa. I need you.
Love Always Mom