update

>Recently I been having a lot of life changes including losing a friend I had been having difficulties with but yet was unable to be assertive enough and stick up for myself with her because I was afraid to lose her as I did not really have any local friends that were healthy for me mentally. Well now, that friendship is gone. However, I have gained new friends and I think that was part of losing the old one, as she may have been jealous since I was not spending all my time with her. Nevertheless, anyways my new friends have been great. They have helped me emotionally and allow me someone to vent to. It is difficult though since many of the issues I am having are with people who also are their friends and my family. Therefore, it is difficult for my new friends to really comment because they do not want to be in the middle of family issues or drama. I hate being involved with drama and feel it is complicating and overly distressing to be involved in. I try to be a good friend to people and try to help whoever I can but it is difficult since the person I try to help just uses me in my opinion but because they married into the family I feel obligated to help and help and help even when it seems they do not appreciate anything I do and only want to cause trouble and drama. I hate my situation right now but feel my hands are tied. I feel as if I am going to break down but I am trying to stay strong and just deal with the shit because the person is young and needs a chance to grow up on her own but I feel she acts entitled to my kindness and does not really care how her actions affect me. Therefore, why do I continue to allow this I am not sure but I feel it is coming to a breaking point? When I lose my new friends over this, I know I will snap. I also cannot stand feeling trapped and unable to say anything to get support and that is how I feel lately because I am not sure who I can trust and who is really out to hurt me and bring me down. Sending me right into the hospital and lose my son forever. Well this is what is happening most recently. Feedback is welcome as I am looking for some help and suggestions.

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